orders filled

Well, the latest news is that both the orders I got recently were filled, and the recipients loved them. That's awesome, and quite inspiring. I am planning on making a velvet jacket for one of my clients in hopes she will buy it. We'll see. I'll make an extra for myself to keep. If she doesn't buy it, I'm sure I can sell it at a show sometime. If nothing else, I will learn a lot making it.



As far as the actual job goes... it's been rocky. I've been nothing short of worn out, and I have been angry with some of the sales managers. One of them told my boss that I was the "weakest link". My boss wasn't sure if he should tell me or not, but he carefully found words to tell me how I'm percieved outside of our office, and how it's FAR from true. He said all I can do is prove the guy wrong. Of course, he's egging me on to become a lead, which sounds like a great idea, but I'm already worn out. We'll see what happens. I want to let some of my collegues scope out what it's like before I jump into it. Of course, since I'll be the last to become a lead, it will make me look bad, but I do what is right for me, not what is right for my reputation.

If my boss really wants to improve my reputation, he can give me a store champion award in front of the whole store. I am trying really hard not to get my hopes up. Sometimes I wonder what am I doing all of it for.


It is aggrivating for me, because I thought I was making good money at my job, but when I compare it to what my husband makes it is nothing but peanuts. He makes almost twice what I do. Granted, his job is related somehow to what he went to school for, but I work a hell of a lot harder for a lot less.

The more I think about it, the more I want to run my own art biz. Of course, the shows themselves may not earn a lot of money, but the clients I'll get from the shows will be the key. Especially if I can have a website to coordinate with it. I really feel like I could earn a living at it, but I want to take each step with caution. I wanted to do a show in the fall (since they supposedly make more money) but so many of my friends are getting married, and it is using up a lot of my weekends off... and if you remember, I only get one saturday off a month. My husband wants me to quit eventually. Maybe once we have a house, I'll consider doing that.

back in action

Well, I didn't get Store Champion. After the award was given, my boss told me that if he could have given two I would have got one because I deserved it. Well, that's nice. Close doesn't count. Maybe I'll get it next time, or maybe I'll just stop caring!

So, I haven't posted in awhile. This is because I was bummed out. Partially bummed about not getting Store Champion, and partially bummed because I was uninspired to finish anything, and of course, my trip to Kansas City was lame. (Everytime I left my hotel room, I got lost, so I stopped going out. I basically worked overtime and watched tv alot.)

Anyway, I'm back to my happy inspired self. I was thinking maybe I will be a lead at work (because it pays more, not because I really want to move up in the company. My feelings about wanting to move up at work have dwindled, because my boss has no social life, and the manager at Kansas City has an even suckier life. In addition, moving up usually means moving... as in moving to a new city. There is no way in hell my hubby would want to move for my company. He doesn't like that I am working there at all, let alone uproot both of us for it. The good news though is that there is a rumor that there will be another location built in one of the suburbs around here, so that could potentially oepn up spots to be promoted into. Of course, it is still a rumor, and our store would have to be crazy busy for several months for there to be another store built. The process could take years... if it even happens at all! None the less, the lead position dangles in front of my nose like a carrot. It's considered a stepping stone to higher positions, but even then, who cares. It's more money, and that's what matters.

Of course, over the last month, I haven't dyed anything until tonight. I was uninspired, and starting to feel like a concept I was working on was near it's death. I was experimenting with making mesh out of jersey knit fabric... and slowly discovering that it can be ugly even more easily than it can be cool looking. The concept needs a lot of work, and I need a lot of motivation!

Yesterday, my dyeing dry spell came to an end. I suddenly had inspiration when a client called to order some tie dye shirts. Sigh, what a huge relief. My work is actually pleasant, and there are people that like it enough to buy it. How awesome is that! So, I ordered a shirt to dye for her. And low and behold, the shipping options were more awesome than ever. Another huge relief. Since I was in such a good mood, I decided to dye a dress that I had been meaning to do. So far it looks awesome!

In other news, my husband got another raise. I'm so happy for him, but I am also insanely jealous. He is only 4k away from making exactly TWICE what I do. And he comes home from work almost everyday telling me that he didn't do much and he was bored all day. NICE. I work my tail off all day every day... and sometimes put in overtime... to make a wage that I couldn't live on if I lived alone. Well, I could get by, but I couldn't save for retirement or afford health insurance or anything like that... that's not living to me. That's just surviving.

Well, that's it for now. I'll be sure to include updates as to what is going on in the crazy world of day jobs and dream jobs!

bored, believe it or not

Now that my family has gone home, and we have time left today before we have to go back to work tomorrow... I find myself doing nothing. I could do all sorts of fun fabric stuff, cleaning, or getting some excersize outside, but I find myself sitting around, eating when I'm not hungry, and playing on the internet.

Strangely enough, I look forward to going back to work tomorrow. Just because I have no motivation, and there is always an adrenaline rush at work.

tired

Today I worked a full 9 hours at the day job. Overtime is annoying to me. I worked so hard, and got so tired that I started making sloppy mistakes. Lucky me, I get to go in early tomorrow and work some more! I am very glad that I will be taking a mini vacation to spend time with family.

Speaking of family, my tie dye got tons of attention at the family reunion/b-day party on Sunday. Not only was I wearing my awesome shirt, but my aunt Marj wore every single tie dye item I have ever made her (except the winter scarf) and that drew even more attention to it. And of course, I had to give little bro a shirt for his b-day. Grandma says she will buy a couple purses like Marj has, but honestly, I can't charge her for it. If I were to make it anywhere close to covering the cost of my time, they'd be well over $100 each, and they are not high enough quality to go for that. I test drove one of my sewn bags, and it was terrible. It only lasted a few months before it started showing serious signs of wear. I could not ethically charge Grandma for that. They take forever to make, and I'm really not that good at sewing.

Anyway, I hope I get a little bit of time to make some stuff and maybe check out another art show this week. I know work will wear me out again tomorrow because all the big dogs are there for our celebratory steak cookout, which we earned for selling a bazillion cars last month. I am so worn out from it. And when all the big dogs are there, all the employees go brown nose with them and leave their work for others to do... I can't wait for my mini vacation to start!!!!!

nudge

Today was awesome.

First, I went to the Talbot Street Art Fair. I ended up lucky with the schedule at the day job, because I was closing. That means I had plenty of time to go exploring art stuff in the morning.

I had a great time at the art fair. I bought some earrings made out of dichroic glass. I also got to see how the vendors were set up, and get an idea for the quality of work. I was fairly impressed. I did see a couple of dye artists there, where they only decorated the clothing as opposed to sewing it. They were both very high quality (not neccessarily my style, but still quality). They were unique from most other dyers, and the designs were pleasing to the eye. There were even a few designs that I had to ponder for a minute to figure out how they made them. I even had to touch a few just so I could figure out what the materials were. It was very intriguing. It was also interesting, because I just got my Bruce Baker CDs in the mail this week, and I was comparing the behavior and setups of the vendors to the suggestions on the CDs. It made me realize what is interesting and what is boring, and what is intimidating, etc from a customer's point of view.

I would go as far as to say that Talbot Street would be a show I'd apply to once I have my act together. By that, I mean once I have a consistent style and set of slides. For now I'm mostly applying to non-juried shows, which are hardly profitable. Talbot Street had an big turn out. It was very crowded, and most of the customers were actually buying or seriously considering it. They were all piling in early. The show started at 10, I got there at 9:50 and it was already packed with people. When I get seriously into shows, I want my booth to be packed with interested customers like that. It was nice to see. Of course, it was also funny to see how vendors act when they aren't quite done setting up, and people are flooding in!

I went to the day job at 2pm, sporting my gorgeous new earrings. I got tons of compliments and EVERYONE noticed. Lots of people said, "you don't normally wear earrings, do you?" and then it led to a few conversations about where I got them, and why I'm so happy to wear them.

Then, after I ran a few deals, I met up with my boss for my file review. He hinted that I might be the next Store Champion, which is our company's version of employee of the month more or less. So, soon enough, I'll be getting a good parking space, and a prize... probably a gift card or something, but still, it will be awesome! And of course, my boss happened to mention that he knows I'm comfortable where I'm at... but if that ever changes, wink wink nudge nudge, to let him know. Basically, he wants to get me groomed for a promotion. I just told him what all I want to learn before I get to that stage. He agreed, and basically I overheard him telling another associate what all needs to be covered before that person can be promoted... and it was more or less my plan for myself. I'm thinking toward the end of this year, or early next year I'll ask about it and climb that ladder. Unless of course, my art career takes of.

It would appear that the stakes are getting higher and higher all the time for this major decision of where my career will go. Of course, it also gets more entertaining. Each field has it's promising aspects. The art thing is going to be fun, and I will finally know what it's like to be professional at it. I still consider myself to be a hobbyist in many ways, but like I said, once I get a consistent body of work, I'll apply to some good shows. Of course, also, I also have things to learn in my day job before that promotion hits... so I'm imagining both happening at around the same time.

On a side note, I also found out why I'm going to Kansas City next month. I am going to help out because they have a lot of new people, and only one manager. From what I understand, it's a big store too. I will be a leader in many ways, and it will be good experience. Also, since they only have one manager in the office... it is kind of shoving it in my face that our company is ready to promote as many people as quickly as they can get qualified to take it. This is very much the reason why I work there. I get so bored doing the same crap and never getting recognized for it. I am definately recognized now!

Well, I'm going to sign off for the night. Little bro's birthday party is tomorrow, and I have to be there, not to mention with my angry husband. He's angry because the party was supposed to be at our place, and my Grandma hijacked it. Woo hoo! A three year old's birthday party out in the middle of nowhere! Maybe I'll take my Bruce Baker CDs and a CD player with me in case I get bored...

PS. We got Dave's car back. It's fixed and it looks nice. It didn't really take a month. She was just kidding.

good, bad, and ugly!

Well, this week has certainly been eventful! I dyed, cut and sewed some awesome shirts, and I'm very proud! I think the designs I made could be the start of a series with mesh, because it is so forgiving, and the potential to create varaitions on it is amazing!

I am also excited because I ordered the Bruce Baker CDs. They are supposed to be very helpful for artists and craftspeople.

In other exciting news from the car dealership, I might be going on another business trip. I love those, because I enjoy maids cleaning up after me for a week, as well as the fact that I get to eat out all the time on the company's dime! It's way fun.

The bad news, and yes UGLY news, is that the dealership wrecked my husbands car. I had brought it in for service, and the service consultant backed it into a pole. Dave was hella mad at first, but they are fixing it for us, and they gave us a loaner car to drive. The bad news is that it's a Ford Taurus (ugh) that they loaned us and he's going to drive my pretty car while I drive the boat! The dang Taurus drives like a bus. It's hard to speed up, slow down or turn. I hate it! Dave is driving around my car which has butterfly seat covers! He doesn't care though. My car is actually kind of nice. Of course, his car will probably be tied up for a MONTH while getting fixed.
And of course, I forgot to empty it, so all the tennis rackets, rollerblades, etc in his trunk will be tied up for that month too. For 1/3 of this glorious summer, he will be bored to death. What fun!

leaning toward art, but still unsure

I'm still thinking about the whole day job versus art thing. When I think in terms of the next year or so, I want to focus on my day job, because it has a steady paycheck and benefits. When I think of long term, I want to focus on my art, because it keeps me sane. Of course, many artists have full careers in other fields and wait for retirement to pursue art. I do NOT want to be one of those artists. I want to do it while I am still young. I want to make art not only because it's fun, but also because I feel a need to do it. I have great skill and inspiration, which does not come easily to everyone. I feel that I shouldn't waste that energy. I feel like a day job is something I should "fall back" on, rather than do first. I just want consistent money until I have a downpayment for a house. But, sometime, before I'm old, or even aging... I'm going to pursue art as a career.

Until then, I continue to do my best at the car dealership. I mostly want to keep as many doors open as possible. If I do end up falling back on it, I want it to be there to fall back on.

Also, until then, I will continue to keep my eyes open for art fairs that I can do on my one Saturday off a month. I will continue to build my skills and find my style. I will keep making art, and considering what the public will buy.

I have also seen some discussions online about whether artists should make art for critics and museums or if they should make art for the public. I want to make it for the public. Sometimes I think about making a legacy, but I think a LOT more often about making money. My art will be good, no doubt, but I'm not going to only please the people who formally studied art. I will try to make it to please common people who know very little about art history or art theory. If someone can only say "I like it" or "I don't like it" and just pick out what colors are in an artwork, I still have respect for them. It's ok if you "don't know much about art". As long as you respond to it, I'm there for you.

Anyway, I'm getting tired and rambling. Tomorrow will be a big day with the in laws. We're going to visit Dave's brother in Bloomington. That should be fun. I just hope it doesn't take the entire day, because I have lots of things to do on my day off.

cookout

We had a nice cookout this evening. People came over to our clean apartment, we ate lots of REALLY good food (thanks to hubby's excellent grilling), and we had a good time. I'm really glad I cleaned the apartment and prepared some of the food ahead of time. It made me feel proud that I live here.

In other news today, I was thinking about art fairs I could make it to. The Covington Art Fair is the weekend that my Dad and Stepmom go back to Connecticut, so on Sunday we could probably go for a bit. The only issue is that it's in Fort Wayne, and we will have just gone up north the weekend before for Adam's birthday party. I am relieved to find an art show that I'm genuinely interested in and I don't have much else going on that weekend. I am a bit miffed though that I have to pay $3.50 a gallon for gas to go on road trips for two weekends in a row. If I had the opportunity to host the birthday party it would have only taken half a day since it wouldn't include 3 hours each way for driving to Grandma's, and I would have been able to fit in a couple hours at the Talbot street fair, and I would have not paid for gas for any road trips at all. (sigh) Oh well.

The more I think about it, the more I wish I didn't work on Saturdays. I really like my job at the car dealership, but I just can't stand the evening and weekend thing. I need some time for friends and family, and some time for going to art functions.

no time for this

I started to think some more today about entering in the quilt symposium fabric contest. Is it worth the money I'd spend to get the exposure? Not only would I have to buy several yards of fabric to dye and print, but I'd also have to send a $35 check as an "entry fee" and get some large envelopes, not to mention postage...

I happened to be opening up my email this morning and found a 40% off coupon for JoAnn fabrics. Is this a sign that I should get off my butt and go get some fabric? I decided to take my coupon to the store in search of some quality 100% cotton white fabric. I found it fairly quickly, and I was thinking that the money might be worth the exposure. I went to the cutting table right away. Then, when I got to the cutting area, there was another lady ahead of me (most of the JoAnn customers during the day seem to have all the time in the world because their either retired or stay at home moms). There was no JoAnn employee anywhere in sight. I stood there for about half a minute and then decided to put the fabric back. It might be worth the money to gain some exposure, but I wasn't sure about how much time I had for it. Today is my day off, and it's already after noon. I still have other stuff to buy today, and some cleaning to do for our cookout this week. The submission is due on the 29th and today is already the 21st. I have to work all week, and it's just NOT going to happpen! At most, I could fit about 5 hours of art stuff in today, and that's not really enough time to print and dye 6-9 yards of fabric. I had also planned to finish photographing my work to put up on my Etsy site. I think that's more important right now anyway.

I also started thinking about how I decided not to go to the Broad Ripple Art Fair this weekend. I didn't want to do that AND the bowling, and completely miss seeing my husband on the only day off we get together. I figured that the Talbot Street Art Fair is coming up, and I'd just go to that instead. Well... today I realized that the weekend of the Talbot Street fair is the same weekend as my little brother's birthday party! What a crock! Don't even get me started on his party, because I was originally supposed to host it, and my Grandma guilted the whole family into letting her take it over. Well, don't ge me wrong, I do love Grandma, but dangit, she lives three hours away! Since I have to work just about every Saturday under the sun, I'm pretty much guaranteed to miss this art fair too. The only other major art fair here in town is Penrod, and there's just no way I'm paying $15 to get into it, not to mention parking. Art fairs just shouldn't cost that much to get into. I'm a bit bummed out about all of this.

This just feels like more evidence that I will end up choosing between the day job and the dream of being a professional artist. :-(

making a name for myself, making friends and building muscle

First of all, I wanted to say that I think it is amazing that someone on the tie dye message boards knows my first name. I'm really impressed that she knows who I am. The person happens to be on an email list that I participate in on dyeing, and in my emails I sign with my first name, but on message boards I do not. I am proud that she made the connection. The person who recognized me happens to always use her real name, and her screennames are the same as her name, so she's really easy to recognize.

The fact that I've made an impression on someone who I somewhat admire, makes me feel flattered, and hopeful. Maybe someday, the art and dyeing community will recognize my work as much as they recognize my knowledge and use of words. I'm very excited about this. I am also very excited to submit some fabrics to the quilt symposium competition. I just love the idea of me designing some fabrics, and other people figuring out what to do with them!

In other news, I went to a social function for the day job today. We went bowling. The company rented a room for us, and it was kind of fun. I enjoyed bowling, and the fact that it wasn't too competetive. The downside though, is that not very many people actually socialized with me. Most of my coworkers enjoy drinking and hitting on men. I cannot participate in either. The only person that really made a point to hang out with me was my trainee, and she's only 19, so she wasn't drinking anyway. She suggested that she and her boyfriend go on a double date with me and my husband. It sounds like fun, because she's my mini me. She does things the way I tell her to (since she's my trainee) and she has even dyed her hair a simliar color to mine. Not only that, but she's really small... so I like the mini me name. She doesn't care for it though, so I won't say it... but I do think it! After the bowling session, she talked me into playing some arcade games with her. She beat me at every one. That's ok though. I'll kick her ass back at the office!

Anyway, after all that bowling, I'm worn out. Between that and lugging around boxes of temporary license plates this week, I'd say my job is getting me into shape.

happy and excited

Ok, I'm so glad I called my customer to get her custom item to her! She was so excited, she introduced me to one of her coworkers that likes to sew. She then asked me if I had a business card on me (the one thing I forgot!). She proceeded to ask if I could dye a velvet jacket. I responded with what my limitations were as far as fibers that I can dye, and I told her that I can get some fabric, and she could have her coworker sew it for her. I'm just imagining what this design would look like, and I must say, it's an awesome idea... although it could get expensive.

Another awesome idea I have is for yardage. It involves screenprinting and dyeing. I just might submit that for a quilt symposium coming up. My stepmom sent me some money congratulating me for starting up the fiber art biz, so I might use the funds to order some fabric. Of course, I can get any old fabric around here for a decent price, but I want to get some mercerized cotton, which is hard to find.

So, in other news, the day job is getting exciting again. I am getting a new AOR (area of responsibility) this week. I hated doing payoffs because I hate calling banks' automated systems. This one sounds like more fun, less work, etc. And the cool part about it is that I might still get to attend Asset Review meetings. Asset Review is fun for me because I get to show off in front of all the big dogs. I have a knack for public speaking, and I really like to show off the fact that I know what I'm doing. It's also cool, because there was an issue where our deposit didn't match what the bank said, so maybe, just maybe, I can get an idiot armored car dude in some hot water. We're waiting to see if it happens again. The guy is kind of creepy.

Today, I'm going to fantasize about being a big dog at work... as well as being a big dog in the art world. Sooner or later, one or both will happen! I just worry that eventually I'll have to prioritize and drop something. When I was a kid, my mom always told me that I can do anything I want to, but eventually I realized I really can do anything, but I can't do everything.

I finally called them

I finally called my customers to tell them their order is ready. I'm going to take it to them today, so that's a huge relief!

I also posted up one item on my etsy site. I was going to put up more, but my camera ran out of juice in it's batteries.

Today, there are no decisions to make really. I just have to go to work.

Figuring out what I should do

Let me just say that today is a day full of indecision. For one, I really need to call the customers for my first custom order. I'm just too chicken though. I am not sure why, but I feel like calling them is like going on a job interview. It's just nerve wracking!

Secondly, I don't know what I want to do with the day. I have today off work, but I can't decide among many options. I could put up a whole bunch of stuff on Etsy, I could dye up a couple new garments, I could reconstruct some clothes into something awesome, or I could call my customers! UGH! Of course, there is always cleaning to do around the apartment, but the way I see it, if my husband doesn't do it often, neither should I. I feel like if I clean too much, it will be expected of me. We can't be having that!

Welcome to my blog

Welcome to my blog. Here I will discuss life as I know it. I named my blog Quarter Life Crisis, because I feel that many twenty somethings are in the same boat that I'm in. We just don't know what to do with our lives. At this age, the possibilities are endless, which is awesome, but it's also super hard to decide.

For me, my decision is whether to build my career around my "day job" or around my artwork. Lately I've been dabbling in both, just to see which one takes off first!

May 5th was the first time I sold my artwork. Yep, I put a price on it and people bought it. Of course it was my first art/craft fair, and I didn't sell much, but the fact that I sold at all made me feel legitimate. I found that most of my customers were middle aged or younger, and they knew what they liked when they saw it. Of course, there were lots of elderly people and bargain shoppers at this show, so I didn't fit in too well. Most of the vendors were retired folk who didn't have high expectations for their wares... meaning they didn't intend on earning a living off it. And of course, most of the crafts were granny crafts, for example, the towels with the buttons sewn on so you can hang them on your appliance handles. Uhh... yeah, I think a towel can hang well enough on it's own. Anyway, my tie dye and country crafts just shouldn't mix anymore. I was really glad to have been there though. I learned a lot about who my customers were.

I also learned that my customers think scarves are pretty, but no one really wants one for themselves. The scarves I had for sale got lots of people touching them, and tons of compliments, but no sales. Most of the sales were from actual clothing items. I also learned that men and babies are a bigger part of my market than I expected. I made most of my designs to suit my own tastes, so I didn't know that guys would appreciate that. I also made a variety of sizes, because I just can't stand it when clothing designers act like skinny girls are the only people who wear cute clothes. Of course the few shoppers I had, were actually small like me, so they saw larger sizes and kept on moving.

So of course, I have tons of new ideas as to how to set up my booth next time and what shows I should start applying to. And then I start thinking about my real life schedule. My "day" job only allows me one Saturday off a month. How much does that suck? Well, it means I have to limit my craft shows!

Normally, I'd just ditch the day job and move on to something more flexible, but I actually like my job. I work at a car dealership, and when I present financing paperwork to customers, I feel important. I also appreciate that my job has room to move up. I could easily be in management within a few years. I felt so proud the last couple weeks when I went to the weekly asset review meetings and presented the missing title report. All of the managers are present at this meeting, and they all congratulate me afterwards for knowing my stuff and for being so confident in my speaking skills. I must say, that feels good.

Although... rumor has it that other dealerships pay more! I would hate to jump ship for another dealership though. From what I understand most of the other places are dishonest. I couldn't work for a place that hires the stereotypical used car salesman.